Tough decisions

I never thought my life would turn out like this. I thought, at my age, I'd be married, settled down, raising my two adorable little children (both girls, of course - I wouldn't know what to do with boys...LoL). I thought I'd know what I want out of life and I'd have a pretty good idea where I'd be spending the rest of my life.

Instead I'm single (no children...just wanted to clarify...I mean, one doesn't necessarily mandate the other, right?); I'm anything but settled down - I mean I'm not even sure where I'll be in a few month - not just what city/town, I don't even know what freakin' country I'll be in. Sometimes that's exciting. There's so many opportunities out there, so many things that I COULD do with my life. And then sometimes, it's scary. What if I never figure it out; what if I spend the rest of my life running around, trying to find a meaning/purpose of my life? It also means that every few months or at least every years, I have to face tough decisions. Do I stay in my current job or do I move on? Do I try to find a job in the same area or do I move somewhere else? How am I going to deal with the usual immigration/visa drama?

Sometimes I wish I could just forward through a few months.... Or if I could just travel to the future, make sure that everything will work out in the end - then I'll come back and would happily deal with the day-to-day drama of real life.

Ugh...

I've meant to put up my Christmas tree since Thanksgiving but something always got in the way. Well, let's be honest - I wasn't really in a hurry to put it up. Here's an important lesson about Austrian culture: We don't put up our Christmas tree until right before Christmas Eve. We also celebrate Christmas Eve (yes, you get all your presents Christmas Eve). Oh and we (or at least my family and most of my friends) get a REAL tree and put REAL candles on there. None of this fake crap....

But having lived in a residence hall for years and celebrated quite a few Christmases in these lovely buildings, I have given in and bought one of those fake, plastic trees and fake Christmas lights. It'll never truly feel like Christmas without a real tree but you do what you can, right?

Well, tonight, I decided to finally put up my tree - I mean, there's only four days left and I have to work three of those - and EVERYTHING went wrong. The tree itself seems to be falling apart and now there's fake little plastic needles everywhere on the floor. And then I put up the Christmas lights - halfway through I thought, maybe I should have tested them first to make sure they're still working - and guess what, they didn't work. One string of lights is completely dead and only half of the other one lights up. And I can't figure out which tiny little light bulb is broken.

Ugh. I'm giving up. I miss Austrian Christmas!!!

A Generation Gap

I've been talking with some of my colleagues and friends about the challenges we've all been facing at work. One of the things that seems to keep coming up is that we feel like our supervisor don't always understand us or where we're coming.

Is it the generation gap?

We are the beginning of the millennial generation and while I, at least, have heard a lot about working with millennial students, there hasn't been as much about working with millennial professionals in Student Affairs. I remember seeing a session at a conference about just that topic - I'm not sure how many people attended it but I think it'd be a great session for a lot of senior-level professionals.

I mean, sometimes it feels like they are speaking a different language. For example, when it comes to technology. We're used to technology; going paperless isn't scary or exciting to us - it's normal and how it should be.
They also say that millennials want to make a difference; and I feel like that's especially true for those of us who've gone into Student Affairs. We aren't okay sitting back and waiting for things to happen; we want to make them happen. That goes along with millennials being goal-oriented, assertive, confident and high achieving. I can see all that in myself; I like to be involved in strategic planning; I set high goals and work hard to achieve them; I like to take risks (calculated risks of course) and try new things; I want to be heard. I'm going to push because I want to see change happen.

Ha. That just reminded me of Harry Potter and Professor Umbridge. "Progress for progress' sake must be discouraged." Hermione wasn't okay with that and neither am I. It's not about progress for progress' sake; it's about progress with the hope of making a difference, having an impact. And yes, there's no guarantee that it will all work out in the end but it's better to try than to do nothing, isn't it?

Good Quote...

Okay, I have another good quote I wanted to share with all of you....

"Change your thinking. Change your world."

This quote is on a little notebook (shaped like the earth) that one of my RAs got me last year. :)

Happy Holidays?

Hello Friends,

It's been a while. Life has been interesting lately but more about that later (...and for those of you who know me, give me a call...I got lots to tell you). It's that time of the year - the "holiday" season. One of my friends recently joined a group on Facebook called "I say Merry Christmas" - a group for those people who don't use the politically correct term, "Happy Holidays." It's the time of "Holiday Celebrations" at work; there's "Holiday" decoration everywhere; and stores are gearing up for the "Holiday" season.

So "Happy Holidays" is the politically correct term, right? But is that really inclusive? Yes, we're now including the Jewish religion and a few others who have minor holidays around this time and have minor holidays that have been made way more important than they originally were just so that these religions also have something to celebrate during this season. But we're still not including everyone. What about those who don't have any "holidays" to celebrate at this particular time? Atheists, for example.

I'm not sure that being "politically correct" is always the best way to go. We say "happy holidays" but we all know that people mean "Merry Christmas." We put up "holiday" decorations but we all know the red and green and the lights - it's all Christmas stuff. Wouldn't it be better - or at least more honest - to simple say "Merry Christmas" and admit that the majority of the US population (and especially the ones in charge) are Christians?

Back at home, we celebrated Christmas. There was no political correctness. Even some public schools would have a church service before Christmas break - which is called Christmas break and not winter break. The students who weren't Christian didn't have to attend the service. May they have felt left out, even discriminated against? Possibly. But would calling it "holiday-this" and "holiday-that" really change that? Wouldn't some people still be left out? But we feel better because we were "politically correct," right?

Sometimes I think it'd be better if we gave up all this political correctness and just admitted that people aren't treated equally here, that certain religions are more dominant than others, and that it matters who you are, what you look like and where you come from.

What friends are for...

While most Americans probably spent Thanksgiving Break eating turkey and hanging out with family, I spent my Thanksgiving working out (yeah, I actually went running every day over break), eating healthy (another new goal, or, let's be honest, a recently reintroduced goal) and reading The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. As always that book made me think about me three best friends. We're kind of our own sisterhood. We keep in touch. We're honest with each other. We tell each other what we think, even when it isn't exactly what the other person wants to hear. We have traditions. But no, we don't have pants that magically fit all four of us. And I'm kind of glad we don't. The pants helped the girls in the story to learn how to be together when they're apart - and by book four, they got too good at being apart and they forgot to find the time to be together. I don't want to get that good at being apart. I like that our traditions focus on keeping us together; I mean, we can't do our iced tea ritual without all of us there, right? ;) Haha, yes, we have a friendship ritual that involves iced tea.

Why am I thinking about this? Well, my friends are also loyal readers of this blog. They don't comment here, but they'll comment in our e-mails. And recently, one of my friends reminded me of something important...

It was in response to me talking about not just wanting a job but wanting to make a difference in the world. My friend reminded me that, "A job is just something you do; it's not who you are." I tend to forget that sometimes; I think ResLife - or Student Affairs as a professions - makes it easy to forget that.

But that's what friends are for...
To challenge what you say; to get you to reflect on your experiences; to help you grow as a person. A worse friend would have kept her mouth shut.

My friend also reminded me of something I'd said a long time ago - We were sitting in our basement and were talking about our futures and what we hope to accomplish. And I said, "When I look back at my life, I want to be able to say that I was happy more often than I was unhappy."

It's good to have friends that will remind you of what your goals once were and will challenge you to question if your new goals are realistic and are really what you should be striving for....

About being a writer and about quality of living

I've recently found out that I have a whole new group of readers. Welcome! I hope you enjoy the insights into my twisted mind. Haha. ;)

When I was younger, I wanted to be a writer. I still have this dream of writing a bestselling novel - or not even a bestselling one, just one that gets published. ;)
When I write, I don't really think about my readers. I mean, yes, I want people to read it. But I learned quickly that if you spend too much time thinking about what people will think about your writing - or you - you'll never be able to write anything. But then it sometimes comes as a shock to me, when someone comments on something I've written - because I completely forgot that people actually read what I write.

As a college student, I was on the editorial board of our student newspaper and wrote a column (yes, my Student Affairs-y column). And in spite of the hours we put into this paper and all the different places we dropped off copies (and yes, I had to help with delivery sometimes - not my favorite part of the job), it was still always a surprise when people commented on my articles or especially my column. You write those things and you put them out there for the world to read - and you want the world to read them - but then to think that they actually read it!!! I mean, people actually have an interest in what I have to say!?! (Whether it may be to agree or to make fun of me...either way, they're taking what I'm saying seriously; they're spending their free time on reading something that I wrote - I mean that's all a writer can ask for, isn't it?) It's kind of overwhelming and amazing and scary - all at the same time.

I remember at my previous institution (and I think I actually talked about that in my blog), I posted a column I had written as a college student about looks and eating disorders. I disclosed in the blog that I'm not always happy with how I look. I have those days where I wake up and I try on three different outfits and hate the way I look in all of them. That was my intro before talking about how media and society can affect how we think about our looks. My students read it - most liked it, agreed with it - but several of them commented on how they couldn't believe that I had actually posted that and disclosed this information about myself. But here's the thing - writing, like music and art, doesn't mean anything unless it comes from the heart. You have to let people in; you have to let them see you - that's what art is all about, isn't it?

Anyway, enough about writing...

I was also recently asked a very interested question - whether I was sick of living in a residence hall. I don't think I am. I'm fine with being available to students - I enjoy working with students. I don't mind the late phone calls and having to respond to emergencies in the middle of the night (not that I'll ever complain about not getting called one night). But I guess I wish I had a little more privacy. It's not the LIVING in the residence hall; it's the having to walk through the lobby - especially a lobby with a welcome desk that's staffed 24-hours a day. It just makes me feel like I'm being watched. If I go out with friends on a Saturday night and don't come back until very late, I know people will take note of that and will comment on it. If I want to have friends over and maybe bring in some alcohol (and we all know I don't drink but sometimes it's just nice to be able to offer a couple beers or some other drink when you're hanging out with friends), I have to sneak it in hidden in some bag as if I was an underage student violating a law - or if I don't do it, I know staff/students will comment/complain about it. at my previous institution - even though I had to walk through the lobby to get to my apartment, it wasn't that bad because at least there wasn't staff there 24 hours a day; and the chances of running into students was relatively small because students would much rather hang out in lounges or rooms than the lobby (at least at night).

I guess I just wish I had an outside entrance to my apartment. I mean, I get that in old building it's hard to add those; but please, for all of you there who're in positions where you have a say in the layout of new buildings being built, add an outside entrance for your hall directors. It'll increase their quality of living SO MUCH!!!

Good Quote..

This quote was the Twitter status of one of my friends: "The reason they want you to fit in is that once you do, then they can ignore you." - Seth Godin

Just something to think about...

I don't want "just a job"

A lot of people are trying to convince me that a job is just a job. You just go - from 9-5 or whatever your hours are - do what you have to do and that's it. And when you disagree with things at work, you shrug it off and move on.

But I don't want that. I don't want "just a job." I want to do something that I can believe in. Maybe I'm naive, maybe I'm an idealistic liberal - haha - but that's me. I can't do things that I don't believe in.

I got into Student Affairs because I want to have a positive impact on students' lives. I want students to reflect on their experiences and learn from them. I want to support my students through their transition from high school to college. I want to create situation that will challenge my students to question their values and beliefs.

I don't want to just throw amazing facilities at my residents. Great facilities look good on an admissions brochure but it's the experience students have that will keep them in college and will encourage them to stay in on-campus housing.

The institution I work at is trying to attract academically stronger students. Great Housing facilities aren't going to do that. But having living learning communities, giving students the opportunity to connect with professional staff and faculty, allowing students to take ownership in their communities and truly shaping it to be the type of community they want - that will attract academically stronger students. At least that would have attracted me.

Oops, I think I went off on a tangent. I was talking about wanting not "just a job." There's a lot of things I could have done - I studied journalism as an undergraduate and I liked working for newspapers, but I didn't feel like that was the best way for me to reach people. I loved writing columns - I did that for our student newspaper for three semesters - because I could encourage my peers to reflect on their values and beliefs. I've recently looked back at these columns and let me tell you, they're very "Student-Affairs-y" as I like to call it. But would I have been able to make a living writing columns? Questionable. And I like having some human interactions; I'd probably go crazy just hiding in a newspaper/magazine office all day.

Last year, I wrote an article for a Student Activities magazine and was later asked by their editor if I was interested in working for them - basically I could have gone out to find new talent (bands, comedians, other entertainment) and that write about them. I thought about it for a few minutes, but I really didn't want to leave the college environment. I've started thinking about this again. I love music and theater and all that stuff - and I love traveling. But would I really be having a positive impact on anyone's experience? Maybe the entertainers that I promote...LoL...but would that really satisfy me? I don't know. I'd probably have to find some hobby that'd allow me to get the feeling of having a positive impact on society.

One of my favorite books is "Little Lord Fauntleroy." There's a quote in the book (I read the book in German, so this is just me translating what I remember...); it's something the mother of the little Lord tells him when he finds out that he's a Lord and is thinking about all the responsibility that comes along with being a Lord... "Just make sure that the world is a little bit better because you lived in it."

That's what I want. I want the world to be a little bit better because I lived in it.

The moments that make this job worth it...

Recently a student stopped me in the hallway because he wanted to talk. I'm not sure how much I was able to help him, but in the end he gave me a hug and thanked me.

It felt so good to finally talk to a student again and even though I wasn't able to help much, I think he appreciated just being able to talk through what was going on and discuss different strategies. THIS is why I got into Student Affairs. I just wish those moments hadn't become so rare.

Lack of motivation

So I'm trying to figure out some new way to motivate myself for work. I'm sick of waking up in the morning and thinking, "I wish I didn't have to go to work today" or sitting in the office thinking, "Is it 5 pm yet?"

I was thinking, last year, I did this Invisible Children Challenge. It was a huge undertaking and totally took over my life. But it was a lot of fun. And I've learned from it and could probably pull off an even more successful challenge this time around. And it'd give me the chance to organize another large-scale event and feel like I'm having some positive impact.

I don't know. I'll have to think about this some more....

RAs say the funniest things....

As I'm sure you've noticed, I've been very frustrated with my job and this department. I just feel like a puppet - I'm being told what to do and I have no say in how to supervise my RAs or how to run my building. I'm basically asked not to think - and I work in EDUCATION!!!
I said something to our director about roommate conflicts and how I don't think students should be sent straight to our assignment person and he responded that he just wanted to take this "administrative" task away from the Area Coordinator. WHAT??? Since when are roommate conflicts an administrative task? Well, they are, if you don't do any mediation and just let students move whenever they want.

Anyway - so last week, at our regular RA in-service (extra training sessions every other Friday), we wanted to do a Town Hall Meeting to get the RAs' feedback about the RA position and their experience. But the speakers before (our Assistant Director and Associate Director) went over [going over stuff that we could have easily discussed in a staff meeting, but that's a whole other story...my staff was super frustrated though]....so we finally get to the end of their presentation and there's 15 minutes left. I ask our Assistant Director if we should just skip the Town Hall Meeting and do it some other time when we'll actually have a significant amount of time for it - but oh no, I was told that we'd just get started anyway. It really felt like she just wanted to get it over with. And instead of just letting us get started, she gives this whole speech on how we don't want complaining but only constructive feedback and how there are certain things about the job that will never change. Then we break up into smaller groups. I look at my watch. There's barely 10 minutes left. I just right into it and the RAs had a lot to say. Initially I tried to stick with the questions we'd come up with but with the limited amount of time that really didn't work. So I just opened up the table for discussion and let them talk. At 4 pm, I told the RAs they could leave if they wanted to but that I'd stick around if they had more feedback to share. And several of them did....

Two days later, I went to dinner with two of my RAs and we ended up talking a little bit about the Town Hall Meeting. They were frustrated that it'd been so short. One of them also shared that since she'd been in the group facilitated by our Assistant Director, she didn't feel comfortable sharing any of her feedback - especially because after that little speech our Assistant Director gave.

And here comes the best moment....
Some of the RAs brought up that they wanted there to be more consistency (as if we don't have enough departmental rules already...argh) - the biggest complaint is that some halls have to change door decs more often than others and that the deadlines for bulletin boards and door decs aren't the same. Who cares!?!?! So my RA goes, "Well, if everything was exactly the same in every building, then we wouldn't even need Area Coordinators. The department could just tell us what to do and that'd be it."

Wow. He couldn't have said it any better. That's EXACTLY how I've been feeling already - with all the consistency and rules and policies that we have. Why am I here???? And why did I get a Master's degree when I'm not allowed to use any of the knowledge and experience I've gained???

Students & RAs

The last few days have been filled with programs...

On Wednesday, the new Invisible Children organization had its first big event - a showing of The Rescue with Invisible Children roadies. Since I've worked with Invisible Children before, I helped the organization out a little bit - and of course attended this first big event. It was amazing!!! They had over 100 people attend. We ran out of room and had to bring chairs from another room into the section of the ballroom that they were using for the showing. After the showing, the roadies explained how students could get involved and help Invisible Children rescue Joseph Kony's child soldiers. And students stuck around, signed the Citizens Arrest Warrant cards, bought merchandise and asked for more information about Invisible Children. I was so proud and excited for the new Invisible Children organization. What a great way to start the organization!!!

Tonight, I was at a Fine Arts Showcase for Students for the Advancement of the Arts. I'm their advisor. The group wants to support arts education in public schools - raise awareness to funding problems and make sure all children have access to fine arts education. The goals of the showcase was to get the word about the organization out there, connect community groups and the student organization, and start raising awareness for the lack of funding for public school arts programs. We had seven performers and one artist who submitted paintings; there were also three speakers - two UNF faculty member and someone from a local community organization. We didn't necessarily fill the auditorium and we had some technical difficulties during a dance performance (the CD started skipping), but overall the event went well - especially for a first event. I was proud of my students and I'm excited to see where they'll go from here.

But not all events this week made me proud. Yesterday was College Prom, an event organized by an RA committee. I don't directly work with this committee but I decided to make an appearance to show support for my colleagues and the RAs who had worked on this event. I showed up fashionably late. When I got to the Multi Purpose Room where the event was being held, I saw several groups of RAs standing/dancing together. Off to the side were two residents. And that was it. The residents weren't dressed up because they hadn't known this event was going on - they'd just heard the music and came to check it out. I went over to the residents and started talking to them. We ended up dancing together. I suggested we go over to the group of RAs and join them - the girls agreed - we walked over there and... we couldn't get into the circle. The RAs seemed to have no interest in letting these residents join their group.
Yes, two RAs went over to the residents later and talked to them for a bit - but overall, the focus of the RAs wasn't to get residents involved. They seemed perfectly happy having an "RA Social."
Argh! This is exactly why I'm frustrated with our department. Yes, we want to be RA-focused but we need to remember that in the end we are here for residents!!!

Starting over

Things haven't been going so well with my RA staff this semester. Several of them have gotten written warnings. I hadn't been able to establish the best relationships with some of them. Staff meeting were usually painful.
I think part of it was that I've felt very confined in how the departments wants me to supervise RAs. Everything seems to be mandated - staff meetings every week (we have to ask our supervisor when we want to cancel a staff meeting), weekly one-on-one meetings. If an RA wants to miss an in-service (regular training workshops for all RAs), they have to go to my supervisor to ask for permission, not me - and it's usually a no. When I gave my RAs the written warnings, my supervisor decided to also pull them into the office and talk to them. And and and. I just haven't felt like I've actually had the opportunity to SUPERVISE my staff. It feels like I'm just here following the department's orders, without being allowed to think for myself.
But anyway, so between that, my frustrations with the department and just the RA staff that I've inherited, things haven't been going well.

Last week, I decided it was time to start over. My supervisor had "offered" (or really highly recommended) that she could come to my staff meeting and have a conversation with my staff. I didn't feel like that would be helpful - AT ALL - as that would just confuse my staff more about who is actually their supervisor. If I can't get their respect on my own, I can quit right now. (But that's not what our department wants - supervisor who actually work with their RAs and earn their respect - we're just supposed to be puppets that do whatever our supervisor tells us to do...haha...okay, going off on a tangent.)
Anyway, I decided to talk about the job responsibilities (with a handout based on the job evaluation) and either had them discuss the job responsibilities and why they were important, review policies and procedures, write a quick paragraph about how they've been working on a certain aspect of the position, share strategies, etc. After that, we talked about our staff dynamics, since there's also been a lot of issues between different staff members. There was an open floor where they could bring up any issues they had - and some of them used that to share some of their frustrations with me (some justified, some not so much - but at least they got it out) and finally we shared what we liked about the staff team (to end on a positive note).

That was a week ago. Tonight's staff meeting was a lot better. The atmosphere was more relaxed. RAs actually participated in discussions. It also helped that we didn't have much to talk about and got done after a little more than an hour.
So maybe things are getting better.... at least with my staff. (I'm still not feeling much better about the department, but that's another story for another day.)

How important are your values?

I've been struggling with a question recently. How important are your values and beliefs? More specifically, how important is it that your values and beliefs match those of the department and institution you work for?

Because I'm not so sure that I've found a "perfect fit" here when it comes to my values and beliefs. Let me give you some examples.
I believe in non-positional leadership. I mean, after all, I taught a class on that and led a living learning community that was based on non-positional leadership. But I'm working for a department that's set up very hierarchical; I work for a director who doesn't believe that non-positional leadership work.
I also believe in focusing on our students' experience and what they learn and gain from being a member of our community. But I'm stuck in an office from 9 am-5 pm - not hours that are very conducive to my students' schedule - and when I talked to my supervisor about struggling with balance, I was told that I could stop going to so many programs at night and spending less time with Area Council and the Residence Hall Association...basically cutting down on the time I'm spending with my students. I'm told that the RAs need to be my focus, but even with the RAs, we waste time on social functions and rarely talk about what they're learning from this experience.

So what do you do when you realize that the department you picked isn't that "perfect fit"?

A Concert in a Residence Hall???

You all know that I've hosted a few concerts in my residence halls - well, to be exact: there's been four now. Three at my past institution; one here. One of those was a campus-wide event and actually hosted in our Student Union - but it was organized by one of my RAs and me, so we'll still count it as a ResLife event.

I often get the question: How did you get to know those bands? OR Why did you decide to host a concert?

Simple. I got an e-mail one day from a band member, who said that they were interested in playing in my residence hall. The e-mail included a link to their music. I listened to it. I liked it. I asked how much the concert would cost me. The cost was affordable. I went for it... and the rest is history. ;)

Hosting a concert isn't a big deal for me. I've always liked organizing events (I am after all the girl amongst my group of friends who has always loved organizing our sleepover parties - with themes - which is probably why in the most recent years they've all taken place at my house...and yes, we still have sleepover parties at 27. You're never too old to have fun. But I'm going off on a tangent....).
So yes, I've always liked organizing events. And I've always loved having music, dance, theater and art in my life.

But when I talk to other ResLifers, hosting a concert is something challenging if not impossible - a hurdle they don't want to tackle.

I just don't get it. I seriously don't. So I was hoping, maybe some of you can help me understand. And if you can't, maybe I can at least use this post to answer some of those questions about how to host an event and take away some of the mystery of organizing such an event.
I mean, those folks in Student Activities do it all the time - so why not us?

So what does it take to host a successful concert in a residence hall?

1) Find a band. There's lots of them out there. Yes, we ResLifers don't have the money to host one of those well-known campus acts that our colleagues in Student Activities book - but there's plenty of very talented young musicians who're traveling the country eager to play a show for any of us at a price that us ResLifers can afford. And if you don't know any of them, I can help.... Check out See The World at www.myspace.com/seetheworldmusic. I love their music and I've worked with them before - trust me, they're great to work with. :)

2) Decide what type of concert you want to host. Is it "just" a concert (I've done that as a kick-off for the year event) or do you want to connect it with another event or a special cause (e.g. I've hosted an Invisible Children Benefits Concert or most recently our Service Splash concert. I'm currently working with some friends on a Hunger Concert, where attendees will be asked to bring a canned food item to the show). You know your residents best. What will get them excited? What do you want to accomplish by hosting this concert? I've found that my events tend to be more successful if I connect it with some cause - get people invested prior to the concert - and then have the concert as a thank-you/end-of-the-service-project event. But that really depends on the student culture on your campus.

3) Decide on a date, time and venue. You want to contact the band first and find out when they'll be in your area. The earlier you can contact them the more flexible they'll be able to be with your date.

4) Get a contract from the band. This includes negotiating a price with the band. Negotiating sounds scary, bust just remember: they don't want to rip you off - they just need some money to survive and get their music out to people. Be honest about what your budgetary constraints are and I'm sure they'd be happy to work with you. Maybe think about combining with a few other residence halls - or get your Area Council/Hall Government or Residence Hall Association involved. Also, talk to your supervisor about how to get that contract approved. I know for most of us it takes a while to get these contract approved. So start thinking/talking about this early.

5) Figure out the promotion for the event. If there's a service aspects or if it's connected to some other event, obviously think about all those details.

6) Host the event.

That's really it.
Simple, isn't it?

So yeah, I just don't get why others don't do that.

Wait, you say. What about the sound equipment? How can I turn my residence hall into a live music venue? Simple. See The World, for example, brings all of their own equipment. All you have to provide is a few plugs.

Lodging? you ask. Well, if you can provide it, that'd be great. But work with the band. They may have a van and be willing to crash in their van. Or maybe you have a few empty residence hall rooms where they can stay for the night. Or a lounge space that can be locked. They're traveling musicians. They don't expect a luxury hotel room. Now, if you have one of those, they of course wouldn't say no to that either. But just think about what resources you have available and let them know; I'm sure you can work something out.

Seriously, this could be one of the easiest events you've ever organized. It's just scary because it's not something we usually do.
But come on - wouldn't your students LOVE to see a concert in their very own residence hall? [And trust me, it totally increases your "cool" factor as a Hall Director. Especially if the students see you talking to the band before and after the event - which you'll have to do anyway because you'll have to talk to them about some details for the show.]

And if you still have some questions about what goes into hosting a concert or if you're interested in actually making one of those happen in your residence hall community, just comment on this blog and I'd be happy to answer any questions and/or even help you organize the event. :)

And even if you don't feel ready to host a concert yet, do yourself a favor and check out See The World at www.myspace.com/seetheworldmusic. I think you'll like them.

On having a life, Service Splash and more

It's Saturday and I'm hanging out in my apartment. This is the first Saturday in a month that I'm actually NOT working and am just hanging out doing nothing - or at least NOTHING work related.

I moved here to have more balance in my life and to actually "have a life" but that really hasn't happened. One weekend, we had the RHA Area Council Training that I basically ran since my RHA just isn't there yet - then I went to a conference with RHA, then we had Open House. Last weekend, I finally didn't have an official meeting/conference/work-related thing but I still spent the majority of the time getting ready for our big annual event. I was putting up flyers, finalizing some of the service things we'd worked on and and and. That didn't leave much time for relaxing. The thing that makes it so hard here to have balance is that, even when we work on weekends or in the evenings, we still need to be in the office Monday-Friday from 9 am-5 pm. Yeah, that's only 35 hours - which leaves 5 extra hours to work at nights an don weekends, but let's be honest: there's A LOT more time that I spend doing extra things after-hours. I have RHA meetings every week and they last about 1 1/2 hours, Area Council - 1 hour, Staff Meeting - 2 hours; there's at least one or two programs every week; on-call shifts; and and and. I just don't think it's fair that I have to take annual leave when I want to sleep in one morning after having been in meetings until midnight the day before.
I talked with my supervisor about how I'm stressed and how I feel overwhelmed with all the night-time and weekend commitments and her suggestion was that I change RHA meetings to every other week (which they already are...but I meet with Exec for the weeks in between), change Area Council to every other week (also not a good idea...I thought one of the focus areas of our department for the semester was to build up Area Council!!!!) and to stop going to programs (hmmm, what about getting to know your students, having a presence in the building???) - I'm just not okay with that. I could do those things but then I'd feel like I was not doing my job well and I don't want that. So I guess I'm stuck with being overwhelmed and stressed. :(

But this weekend, at least, it's all about relaxing and hanging out with friends. We had our big area-wide program on Wednesday (Service Splash) and it went well. At one point, we counted about 100 students - and there were a lot who came in and out...so I'm sure we had more than that. We made over 100 teddy bears for children in hospitals, collected almost 700 non-perishable food items and raised $150 for a youth center for teens who identify as LGBTQ.
The concert, of course, was a lot of fun as well. And as I mentioned, I absolutely love having people stay with me. It forces me to have more balance in my life because I can't just come back and sit on my couch and do work...and I'm a lot more cautious about agreeing to go to certain meetings or take on extra tasks.

The guys had the show at my school on Wednesday, then another one about 2 hours away from here on Thursday (I of course met up with them...I couldn't go with them because I didn't get out of work in time...and helped with selling merchandise)...yesterday they had the day off, so while I was at work (being grumpy about having to be at work - especially because I asked to get the day off but wasn't allowed to since two of my colleagues were already gone and we can never have more than two of us leave at one point), they hung out in my apartment, our pool and also worked on booking more shows for the rest of their tour and promoting their music.

Okay, back to the fact that I couldn't take Friday off - because that's still a sore spot. I get the rule that we need to have half of our professional hall director staff here so that we have enough people to respond in case of an emergency. But I just asked if I could be out of the office that day - I even explained that I'd be in town and would be willing to come back and respond to any emergencies. So why couldn't I do that??? Well, I couldn't, so I ended up sitting in my office, in a horrible mood, staring at the computer screen and getting hardly anything accomplished that day. Was that really worth it?

But anyway...

I'm off on Monday, so I'm really excited about that. :) The guys have a show today and tomorrow - but Monday they have off. So that'll be nice. And I'm just excited that I'll actually get to sleep in on Monday. ;) I'm not excited though that that's one day of my annual leave - I need to save vacation days, so I can take some time off next summer and go home to Austria for my friend's wedding - and then continue to India for another friend's wedding. Yup, it'll be a summer of weddings. :)

Definitely worth it...

So the event hasn't even happened yet but it's already been worth it. The bands who're playing at our event tomorrow got here today...and we've just been hanging out this evening. Well, as much as I was able to with an RHA Executive Board Meeting, a meeting with our two student MCs for the event tomorrow, Area Council and a program. But just having people in the apartment, talking to people who are neither RAs nor students nor colleagues - it's kind of AMAZING! :) It makes me feel like I may actually have a life...even when we're just sitting around my apartment, all staring at our computer screens being anti-social. Haha.
I seriously wish I always had friends staying with me. Anyone want to move in with me?

One day...

Every year, I plan some big event and then a few days before it, I'm stressed and I keep asking myself, "Why??? Why did I do this to myself?" But you know what, in the end it's all worth it.

Two years ago, our Spring Break Service Trip was that event. Last year, we did another service trip AND I decided to organize this Invisible Children Challenge...adieu having a life. Haha. This year, it's Service Splash.

We started planning during RA Training. Since I work in a new residence hall (did I mention that yet? The building just opened this Fall. 1,000 residents, 2 professional staff members, 20 RAs, 6 themed lounges, a convenient store, a fitness center and aerobics room, a game room, an active swimming pool and a lazy river.)...anyway, since it's a new building, my colleague and I wanted to start some new tradition. Service Splash will hopefully become that. The idea is to do service for a month or so and then celebrate with a party/concert by the pools.

Our RAs were excited. I told them I could bring in two bands (yeah, I have some connections there...LoL). They picked the service organizations and the activities: making teddy bears for children in hospitals and collecting food and hygiene items for a youth center for teens that identify as LGBTQ.

We started off strong. Everyone was excited. We had high goals - maybe a little too high goals. Then, the event came closer and closer. We weren't getting the number of donations we'd been hoping for. Our "sewing parties" for making teddy bears had low turnouts. And my and my colleague's staff didn't get along anymore. We had a huge argument over t-shirts...his staff wanted to order shirts (and I totally agreed with them...haha...I mean, we had an offer for getting t-shirts made for $10 each...with three different colors...you can't do better than that!) and my staff wanted to make shirts (which would still cost $6) or not have shirts at all. The t-shirts really weren't the reason for the argument - there's been a lot of hidden tension, mostly due to personal issues - but it was the last straw on the camel's back. My staff had been grumpy and unmotivated for a while and this didn't help.

Some of the returners decided to take some initiative (good) and come up with a plan (also good), but chose not to involve me at all (not so good), which led to them coming up with some pretty unrealistic plans (bad). They presented it at a tension-filled staff meeting (argh) and then got frustrated when I had to shoot some of their ideas down (in the nicest and politest way possible).

And here is where my own stubbornness came in. I was not going to let this event fail. I've spent too much time and effort on it myself, not to speak of all the money we were spending on it, and the fact that I'm friends with the bands who're coming down for the event and I will not let them play at a catastrophic event. So I couldn't to work, to fix, to problem-solve, to promote...sleep has been optional lately, weekends have been filled with work-related tasks.

And now it's one day before the event. It's 1:50 am and I'm about to crash for the night (my body doesn't agree with this sleep-being-optional thing...I guess I'm getting old). I still need to clean my apartment (the guys in the bands are staying over in my apartment), I need to put up some more posters tomorrow morning (they really should have gone up tonight but that just wasn't going to happen), I need to iron a bunch of clothes (just did laundry), I need to do some more laundry and I need to go shopping (I don't think the guys would appreciate the lack of food in my fridge...and the few things that are in there are all Vegetarian meals). And then there's of course the shopping for food for the event, going over the script with our MCs, organizing the raffle prizes, and and and.

And of course tomorrow (or really later today), I'm in the office in meetings from 9 am until 5 pm, then I have a quick break, then another meeting at 7 pm and then one at 9:15 pm. Yeah, that'll leave me lots of time to work on that to-do list mentioned above...argh. Oh well, what can you do?

But you know what? In the end it'll be worth it. Because we have made over 100 teddy bears for children in hospitals AND we have collected almost 600 items for the youth center. AND I know once the bands start playing at the event on Wednesday, I'm going to have a blast.

But next year, someone please remind me not to get myself into one of these large-scale projects again! Thanks! ;)

Hierarchy

The last two years, I worked in the CHANGE Living Learning Community - a community that focused on non-positional leadership. We believed that everyone can be a leader, that leadership can happen in any part of an organization and that organizational structures should be as flat as possible. I spent countless hours trying to convince my residents, who were used to strict, hierarchical structures from high school student government and other organizations that they'd been in, that people don't need to hold a position, that there doesn't have to be a president and that we could actually work together more effectively in a group setting where everyone has a say and contributes what he/she is best at. It took a while, but eventually they caught on and started to appreciate and value non-positional leadership.

The Residence Life department I worked in was - while technically set-up pretty hierarchical - flat enough where I could walk into the Director's or Associate Director's Office and ask a question without stepping on anyone's toes or being sent away without an answer and being told to follow the chain of command. Most of the time, I'd go to my direct supervisor, but it was nice to know that I could go and ask a question to someone higher-up in the department - especially if it was something they were directly working with.

Not so much in my new job. I very quickly came to the rude awakening that having a flat organizational structure is a luxury and not the norm. When I have a question here, I'm expected to go to my direct supervisor first. Many times I get the answer, "I have to ask our director" and then the waiting starts. Did I mention that I'm not a patient person?
And if it's a bigger change or something involving money, I get to write a proposal first, send it to my supervisor, who will then forward it to our director. Yeah - proposal-writing - NOT my favorite thing to do. It just feels like such a waste of time. Our director's office is just down the hall - can't I just walk there and ask the question? We could talk about it; if he has any questions, I could answer them right then and there - and then he could either make a decision or think about it and get back to me later.

I tried to be patient. Maybe I just need to get used to this new system, I thought. I wrote proposals. I asked questions of my direct supervisor. I tried not to step on toes. But I'm not sure how much longer I can do this....

It just seems that this system is so much slower and more frustrating. I'm not sure how my messages are presented to our director, since I'm not part of those conversations. I don't know if my supervisor will be able to answer all questions, or whether or not she's going to argue and fight for what I want. And I'm starting to lose my patience with how long everything takes. A few weeks ago, I asked if I could use one of the guest apartments for a band that's coming down for a concert in a residence hall or if I could at least borrow some mattresses (I know we have a ton stored on campus). I really don't understand how that's a difficult questions. I get that I may not be able to use the guest apartment, since it'd have to be cleaned afterwards and all that. But what about the mattresses? They're just sitting there, in that storage room. I'd go pick them up myself and return them afterwards. No extra work for anyone. But when I asked my supervisor and suggested that I just go talk to our facilities manager, so he knows that the mattresses didn't just disappear (not that I really think he'd notice but I wanted to be upfront and honest), she said that it'd have to be approved by our director first. And of course she'll be the one to go and ask. Hmmm, yeah, that was three weeks ago.

Argh!!!!

Note to self: When I'm in a director position - or even just a little higher up in Residence Life - I'll do everything I can to create a relatively flat organizational structure based on the concept of non-positional leadership.

Welcome to a new year!

Hello everyone and welcome to a new year!

For those of you who have been following my blog for a while, WELCOME BACK and THANK YOU for your continued support! For those of you who have just checked out this blog, WELCOME!

I started a new job this year. It's only October and it feels like I've been here forever. The job has definitely had its ups and downs already, so there'll be lots to blog about. But, since this is the first blog of the year, I wanted to give you a little bit of information about me (especially for those of you who're new to my blog; but I hope that there'll be some new things for my veteran readers as well).

I grew up in Austria. The first few times I came to the US was on vacation with my parents. Then, my junior year in high school, I was an exchange students. That's when I really fell in love with this country. I decided I wanted to come back for college - and I haven't left since (other than on vacations). I'm still not a US citizen - if I could, I would change my citizenship because it'd make job searching so much easier for me, but trust me, it's not as easy as you may think.

I was a journalism major in undergrad but after becoming an RA my sophomore year and then working as an Orientation Leader, I realized that I loved working with college students. Right after undergrad, I went to graduate school and got my Master's in Higher Education and Student Affairs. My assistantship was in Residence Life. After that I worked as a Hall Director and Academic Adviser (yup, two jobs - one paycheck...haha) - it was one of the best and most challenging jobs I've ever had. I wasn't always happy but I learned a lot. After three years of working my behind off in that job, I decided it was time to put my personal life first. I moved to a warmer climate and took on a job as a Hall Director - yup, "just" a Hall Director - no more doing double-duty. But somehow I still haven't been able to get my life back together. Is it me??? Maybe that's something we can try and figure out together through my blogging this year.

Other than that, I'm hoping to share my experiences with you as I transition and adjust to a new institution and student body. I want to share the ups and downs of the daily life of a Hall Director with you; my struggles and challenges as well as my successes.

What are other things you should know about me?
I want to make a difference in this world. I hate how cheesy that sounds but I can't think of a better way to express how I feel. I believe that our purpose in life is to try and contribute to making this a better world for all people living here. That's what I try to focus on in everything I do.
I have a really hard time picking one cause, one issue that I'll focus on. I've had to realize though that I can't do everything. That's why I work in Student Affairs - if I can inspire students to find out what they're passionate about and go out and make a difference in this world, I will hopefully be able to make the change happen that I'd like to see in this world.

I want to be an activist. I try to make my lifestyle fit my beliefs and values.

I believe in animal rights - that's why I'm a Vegetarian. I don't have anything against eating meat; I just disagree with the way animals are treated in the mass production of meat. I haven't found an effective way to change that - and until I have either managed to do that OR until I feel like I'm able to control where my meat comes from (which I don't feel like I'm able to in the US), I won't eat meat. Simple as that. I also don't eat fish. Same reasons!

I don't believe war is ever the right answer. I've gotten very involved in Invisible Children over the past few years. If you don't know what Invisible Children is, go to www.invisiblechildren.com (It's an organization that works with child soldiers in Northern Uganda). Last year, one of my RAs and I organized a several-month-long Invisible Children event at our school. We also participated in The Rescue, an international Invisible Children event, and this summer I was able to go to Lobby Days in Washington D.C.
While I obviously believe in what Invisible Children wants to do, I also love how it is organized as an organization and how it was founded - by three young men who went to Africa in search of a story, came across children in need and decided to do something about it. It's such a powerful story about how a few individual can truly make a difference!!!

I also consider myself a Gay Rights Activist. I believe that everyone should have the right to get married. I've recently gotten involved with a local youth center for teens that identify as LGBT and I'm hoping to deepen that involvement over the next few years.

I don't expect all of you to agree with my views and my beliefs. So why did I tell you all this? Because I'm sure all of these beliefs will come up - directly or indirectly - in my blog this year.
And if you disagree with anything I say, I'd like to encourage you to comment and let me know what you think. I'd LOVE to have debates on here, to share our experiences and how those have influenced what we believe in, to deepen our understanding of other people's points of view.

In Student Affairs, we work so much with other people and we can have a huge impact on our students' experiences. I love that - but it also scares me. It's a huge responsibility. That's part of why I want to learn more about what other people think - to gain a better understanding of where my students may be coming from - and to be able to evaluate my own views and beliefs and how they influence how I interact with other people.

I love writing this blog because it forces me to take some time every week to reflect on what's been going on and how I feel about it. I believe this reflection helps me become a better professional.
So THANK YOU in advance for giving me the opportunity to reflect and share my experiences with you for another year.

I hope you'll enjoy following my blog!

PS: And please comment. I love comments because I love hearing what all of you think.