Tough decisions

I never thought my life would turn out like this. I thought, at my age, I'd be married, settled down, raising my two adorable little children (both girls, of course - I wouldn't know what to do with boys...LoL). I thought I'd know what I want out of life and I'd have a pretty good idea where I'd be spending the rest of my life.

Instead I'm single (no children...just wanted to clarify...I mean, one doesn't necessarily mandate the other, right?); I'm anything but settled down - I mean I'm not even sure where I'll be in a few month - not just what city/town, I don't even know what freakin' country I'll be in. Sometimes that's exciting. There's so many opportunities out there, so many things that I COULD do with my life. And then sometimes, it's scary. What if I never figure it out; what if I spend the rest of my life running around, trying to find a meaning/purpose of my life? It also means that every few months or at least every years, I have to face tough decisions. Do I stay in my current job or do I move on? Do I try to find a job in the same area or do I move somewhere else? How am I going to deal with the usual immigration/visa drama?

Sometimes I wish I could just forward through a few months.... Or if I could just travel to the future, make sure that everything will work out in the end - then I'll come back and would happily deal with the day-to-day drama of real life.