Back from ACPA

I've only been back at work for two days and I feel like I need another vacation already. It's hard coming back from ACPA with all these new ideas and thoughts and not being able to share them or start working on new initiatives.

Our department is going through a lot of changes; new staff being hired; positions changing. So I get that our leadership wants to wait to make any changes until these new staff members are in place. But what I don't understand is why we can't get some conversations started. We've got talent here, right now...talent that knows our current system, knows what's been working and what hasn't. So why not use that talent to come up with some recommendations and ideas for the new staff when they come in?

I guess part of me just wants to feel that this year wasn't a complete waste. Yes, there's a few little things I've accomplished. One of my colleagues and I introduced the idea of intentional one-on-one conversations to the RA program; we started a new tradition with our area-wide program this Fall; and my RHA is definitely in better shape than last year. But there's just so much more that I think I could do - if they'd just let me. I have so many ideas and thoughts.

*Sigh. I guess I just have to accept that there's only so much I can do.

On a completely different note - what are everyone's thoughts on NASPA and ACPA consolidating? That was definitely THE topic of ACPA this year. We talked about it with the Commission for Student Involvement (that I just joined); we talked about it at the Commission for Housing (I'm an outgoing directorate body member); there were consolidation meetings (I attended one of them); it came up during other sessions and speakers.

For those of you who haven't heard much about consolidation yet, here's a great Web site to get you started: http://www2.myacpa.org/au/governance/unification.php

And here's what I think...
I think consolidation is a great idea. There's so many advantages: we'd have a stronger voice in Washington if we've got only one professional association; we could cut down on some of the redundancies in administration and services; as a profession we'd be more unified; and let's be honest...it just makes sense. I get that there's a lot of history in both organizations, that there's some significant differences between the two (based on different philosophies and beliefs)...but come on, we are Student Affairs - shouldn't we be able to collaborate, to compromise.
I liked that, at all these consolidation meetings, they talked about not wanting to combine the two organizations or pick things from each but to think about what the perfect Student Affairs Association would be like and to create that. It's a chance to use all that we've learned in these two organizations, put our best minds together, and create something new and exciting.
I understand that people have a lot of questions: What will conventions look like? What will regional/state association look like? What about our commissions/standing committees/knowledge communities?
And to be honest, I don't think we'll have all those answers. Yes, there are subcommittees assigned to developing plans and to brainstorm ideas. But not all questions will be answered when the membership will get to vote on this. And even if they were...don't we all know that sometimes you just have to come up with your best idea, try it out, and then reflect, revise and go from there. We may not come up with the perfect solution for national convention the first time around; but after a few years, we'll know what works.
Change is never easy. But I also think nothing is as exciting as change, as the opportunity to create something new, to figure out how we can best serve our professionals and through that our students. We are one profession; we should have one professional association.

AHHHHHHHH!!!!

So the whole not-thinking-about-jobs while at the convention didn't really work out. I got an e-mail yesterday letting me know that while Semester at Sea thought I was a great candidate and would bring a lot to the program, the position was offered to someone else. I can still be an alternate - and they definitely encouraged me to apply again - which all sounds great but doesn't really help me much right now.

I'm trying not to panic but it's hard. I have a month and three weeks left and then I will be leaving the country. If I don't get a job by then, how am I supposed to search while traveling in Austria and India? Maybe this is the end of my time in the US. I didn't want it to be that way; if I wanted to move back to Europe, I wanted it to be MY choice.

Oh well....

I went to a concert last night (ha...big surprise there). One of my former RAs - now working full-time but still pursuing her dream as a singer/songwriter had a show. And it was amazing! Seeing her and another former RA, who'd come out to the show, reminded me of all the reasons why I love working in Student Affairs. I'm not ready to give up yet. I'm going to fight....

[If all the other places I've applied to could at least get back to me and maybe give me a phone interview; it's hard to fight when they don't even give you a shot...]

ACPA

I'm heading to ACPA tomorrow morning. Our flight leaves at 6:45 am, so I should really be in bed by now...but as always, I left packing and cleaning the apartment to the last minute.

As I've mentioned earlier, I'm not going through Placement this year. I'm starting to question if that was a good decision because I'm not hearing back from any of the institutions I've applied for and I wonder if they'd give me more of a priority if I was going through placement. But then again, I just really didn't want to spend the money and I'm trying to do a pretty selective search. My friends keep telling me that it'll all work out in the end and I want to believe that, but it's hard sometimes.

But I've decided that I'm not going to let job searching stress me out while I'm at ACPA. I'm just going to have fun and make the most of the convention experience. I'm excited that I'll actually be able to make it to commission meetings and programming sessions.

And I'm really interested in going to the meeting about the NASPA and ACPA Unification. What are everyone's thoughts on the unification?
I think it'd be great. I never understood why we need to have two organizations. I realize both of them have different histories and the leadership doesn't agree on some things; but shouldn't we, as Student Affairs professionals, know how to collaborate and how to come up with some compromises? And how much easier would it be for new professionals (or any professionals really) if they could just become a member of ONE organization? Financially it makes sense; it'd give us a stronger voice as a profession. I really can't see any negative aspects of this unification.

This and that...

We have moved. :)
I was definitely the last one to finish packing - half an hour after our office closed on Thursday. But guess what? I was the first one DONE with unpacking. That's what happens when you pack very strategically, know exactly what's in each box and where it goes...and of course, when you take about half of your belongings home. Having less than two months left in this job, it just didn't seem to make sense to pack/unpack now and then pack again in a few months...so half of my books went into boxes that were then brought back to my apartment and will now sit here until I move them to a storage area or wherever else I'll find a place to store things over the summer.

I'm starting to panic a little about this whole job searching thing. And part of me is just mad that my well-formulated plan didn't work out. I left my job last year not just because after three years it was time to move on but because I knew that this spring/summer wouldn't be a good time to job search. I knew there'd be a couple weddings in different countries in my future and I wanted to be able to just take a month off work and fly to all these weddings and then return to my job. My friends even asked when good times for their weddings would be and I asked them, if anyhow possible, to have them earlier in the summer since we all know the last few months of the summer are filled with training and opening for us ResLifers. And they did. Everything would have worked out perfectly!!! I would have left in early May for a month of vacation; I would have been able to leave my car and all my belongings here; and then return to my job in June - still able to work on some summer projects, help prepare training and then be ready and rested for a new academic year.

But then I came here and everything went wrong. And now I have no idea where I'll be next year. I can't book my flight home because I don't know when I'll need to come back or if I will even come back; and we all know flights to Europe get more expensive the longer you wait. I don't even know if I'll have a job offer before I need to leave for the summer; and how am I supposed to continue searching/interviewing when I'm in Austria and then India.

When did everything get so screwed up? The only small consolation is that no matter how difficult life is right now, the one thing I do not regret is turning in a resignation letter.

Moving to a new office

We're moving to a new office. Our department has been in a modular unit for - I'm not sure how long, longer than I've been here - but now we're moving to a newly renovated office. So this past week has been busy with packing. Well, it should have been busy with packing, but let's be honest - I didn't get around to packing very often. I just had too many other things going on - RA Interviews last week, 1:1's with my RAs, meeting with residents to follow up on incidents, two administrative hearings, NRHH applications and and and. The movers are coming Friday, which means I only have one day left to pack. And I have a ton of meetings tomorrow. Oops. That's not going to be good. Wish me luck!

I'm waiting...

The worst part of job searching is the waiting. First, you find that job posting and you submit your application. Then, you wait. You wait for someone to respond and tell you that they've received the application - sometimes that doesn't even happen. Then, let's say you get an interview. You have your interview, then you wait again. You're waiting for them to contact your references or let you know whether or not you're going on to the next round. If that happens, there's more waiting before an offer may come your way.
This waiting can be a few days, a few weeks or months. You never know. You don't know if offers have been made to someone else or if they're just running behind with the process. You don't know if you should start applying for other jobs. Yes, you can e-mail/call and ask where you're at in the process, but you don't want to be that annoying candidate who calls every few days. So you wait....

And then what???

In exactly two months will be my last day of work here. And then what???
I have no idea. I'm starting to panic a little. Yesterday, one of my RAs from last year stopped by for the night. It was so nice to catch up. I hadn't seen her since she moved out of our building last year, the day after graduation. It's not that we didn't want to get together; it just never worked out. And now - in just two months - I'm leaving the country and I'm not sure when I'll be back and where I'll be. We talked about wanting to meet up again before I leave. And I really really want to. But there are so many people I want to see before I leave and there's only two months left - and two months that will be filled with work.

I'm not good at saying goodbye. But in Student Affairs, that's what we do. Every year, some of our students graduate and move on. And it's exciting to see them go out in the world and make a difference. But it's sad to see them leave, knowing that you won't be able to just walk down the hall to see them, knowing that as much as you'll try to stay in touch it will never be the same. And every few years, we move - especially at the beginning of our careers. And then we have to say goodbye to everyone, students, colleagues, friends.

I really don't like saying goodbye.

But even more than saying goodbye, I hate the not-knowing. Not knowing what job I'll have next year, not knowing where I'll be. How are you supposed to make plans for the future when you don't know what you'll be doing or even what country you'll be in? And we all know I like making plans. ;)

To Have A Life or Not To Have A Life

Sorry for the mini blogging hiatus; I've been swamped at work last week (Homecoming Week - and here Residence Life has a Homecoming Team...hmmm, yeah, interesting, right?) and then I was away for the weekend.

I went to visit a friend from grad school and it was amazing!!! I got in the car, ready for my 6-hour drive - new roadtrip CDs, snacks and water - and as I merged onto the highway, I felt a rush of gratitude for the opportunity to leave campus and "have a life." I love being on the road; nothing compares to that feeling of freedom and independence that I get when cruising along in my car blasting music and singing along. I love the peacefulness of driving at night, hardly any traffic, just you and the open road. :)

Two days later, I had to turn around and come back and as soon as I got back, I got sucked into the stress and craziness of day-to-day life. It always feels worse when you get back from a mini-vacation. Partially probably because you just had that wonderful free time and independence - you were in a place where no resident can knock on your door late at night and where you can finally separate your personal life from work; partially it's because you were gone for the weekend and didn't do any work at all, so now you're behind and everything that needed to get done has to be completed now. Just checking your e-mail after a long weekend away can crush anyone's spirit.

So what do you do? Do you have a life - realizing that whenever you come back to work, the stress and craziness will be worse than ever? Or do you give up on a life and just work steadily and constantly, avoiding hectic times?

And on another note: I still haven't applied for those jobs. I'm starting to get this panicky feeling in my stomach whenever I think of job searching or hear the word job search or when someone asks me where I'll be next year. It's after 11 pm now (I got back from a meeting, then had to check in with a resident quickly and now I'm finally back in my apartment) but sleep will have to wait until I write at least three cover letters tonight.

Job searching truly is just like another full-time job and right now I really don't have the time for another full-time job. But unless I want to move back to my parents' house in Austria, I need to get on top of this job searching. Keep your fingers crossed for me!!!