Not a vacation

Everyone keeps acting like I am on this long, fabulous vacation. But let me tell you, this is ANYTHING but a vacation.

I don't know how people can be unemployed for a longer period of time; it is driving me INSANE. I'm so sick of waking up in the morning with nothing specific to do. I try to fill my days with hanging out with friends, going hiking, doing this and that - but it's hard to enjoy anything when you're always waiting...waiting for something to happen...waiting for something to end the waiting.

Everything that's usually fun isn't fun anymore. I usually love roadtrips - but after a month of traveling and when you travel without a real destination or end in sight, it's just not fun anymore. I love getting a chance to hang out with friends. But I've been in such a crappy mood that I'm worried about dragging everyone else down. Since I've been crashing with friends lately, I've been trying to be in a cheerful mood, but geez, it's EXHAUSTING. I notice myself falling silent - staring at space not thinking of anything. Who wants to hang out with someone like that?

If I knew that in three days, a week, two weeks, I definitely have a job, a home, something to do, I'd be okay. I have been on LONG vacations before. I was never one of those kids that was ready to go back to school after the summer vacation; on the contrary, I always wished the summer was longer.
I'm good at keeping myself busy. I can read a book and forget about everything around me. But there's some things I just can't completely forget right now....

Ugh, I'm so ready for this waiting to be over.