A few personal updates:
* I've finally started decorating my apartment. :) Because of my immigration issues, I didn't move in until right before training - and so I was immediately thrown into professional staff training craziness, then RA training craziness, then the first five weeks of the semester with extra programming and and and. I just haven't really had a time to breathe. I work until 9 pm on Mondays (I teach a class from 8-9 pm), 10 pm on Tuesdays (Area Council Meetings), 9 pm on Wednesdays (Staff Meeting) and 8 pm on Thursday (late office hours); so by the time I usually get home I'm just too tired to deal with personal stuff like unpacking, decorating, etc. Excuses? Maybe. I guess there are just always other things I care about more; if I really wanted to, yes, I could probably find the time. But anyway, it's just gotten ridiculous and so over Fall Break I decided to start decorating and finish unpacking. Of course I didn't get it done yet. Turns out, it's basically impossible to put a nail in my wall. I think it's because it's an outside wall of the building. After bending three nails, I gave up. Now I'm trying to come up with another solution. [I know at least one of my readers can relate to the frustration of not being able to hang things up in your apartment...haha...it's not that bad yet; I still have a few options I haven't tried.]
*I've once again made up my mind to work out more, cut down on the amount of ice cream I eat and - by doing that - lose some weight. I went running last night. I meant to get up early and go running this morning as well but that didn't happen. And right now I'm arguing with myself whether or not I should go running tonight; it's pretty cold out and I do have some exercise DVDs I could use. We'll see. Let's hope I end up doing something tonight.
*I'm debating if I should put up my Christmas tree. If you've read my religion post, you know my struggle. I'll also be spending the holidays by myself in my apartment. I really wanted to visit my family (and go skiing in Austria) over winter break but there's just not enough time. I have to apply for a new entry visa at the US Consulate in Vienna, if I leave the country - and that takes about 2 weeks and we don't even have a full 2-weeks off for winter break. So I'm stuck here and not too excited about it. I'm debating now if I should just completely ignore the holidays or if I put up a tree and fake excitement until I may actually get excited. Haha. Family holidays suck when you're far away from your family.
Work-updates:
*The next few weeks will be filled with writing RA Evaluations & meeting with RAs to discuss evaluations; writing end of the semester reports; starting to plan things for next semester; etc.
*One of these days, I'm going to try and spend some time reflecting on how my first semester here went. I like reflecting. ;) Some of my staff members hear get really frustated when they hear the word "refelcting" - apparently I ask them to do too much of that? But seriously, can there ever be too much reflecting? I mean, if we don't think about things, how else are we going to learn?
Monday, November 29, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Bullying
I recently read the book "Nineteen Minutes" by Jodi Picoult again (I first read it this summer, but it's one of those books you have to read a couple times because it brings up so many questions). It's about a fictional high school shooting - but instead of telling the stories of the victims, it focuses on the shooter. It doesn't just talk about the shooting and the trial and how everyone deals with life after the shooting; it also tells us about the shooter's life growing up.
I love that book - even though it completely messes with my head whenever I read it. But I think the questions this book is asking are the questions we need to ask ourselves - HOW DID HE GET TO THERE? How does a person get to the point where they turn into a shooter?
At my last institution, we had to go through active shooter training. We learned that, if there is an active shooter, you should first see if there's a possibility to get away and if so, you should run and get as far away as possible; if that isn't an option, you should try to barricade yourself in. We learned that if you're hiding in a classroom, you shouldn't all huddle together because you make a much easier target; instead you should try to spread out so if the shooter comes to your room, he won't be able to get you all at once. And they told us that if there's no way to get away or barricade yourself in somewhere, you should try to come up with a plan to take out the shooter - because at this point, it's either you or him.
Sadly enough training like that are necessary - and they're helpful. But I wish we spent at least as much if not more time talking about how we can try to keep our students from getting to the point where they become an active shooter; how we can identify students who may be at risk. I know that's not an easy task but Student Affairs shouldn't be about "being easy." And yes, I don't think we'll ever be able to prevent all of these incidents - but we could at least give it a try.
A lot of schools now have teams of administrators that identify high-risk students and then try to keep up on how they are doing and what we are doing to support them. That's a great start - but what are we doing on the Hall Director and RA level to stop these incidents from happening?
Just this semester, we've had two incidents of homophobic graffiti in my residence hall. I've had roommate conflicts where I was concerned that bullying was involved. I hear students talking about others, judging others.
And what have we done? We've had an anti-bullying program where we asked students to sign an anti-bullying pledge; we later posted those pledges on a bulletin board. I've tried to encourage my staff to have more one-on-one conversations with their residents, to build relationships with every single one of them - some of them have embraced that idea, others still prefer to "send out an e-mail" when I ask them to get a message to residents instead of going out and talking to them one-on-one. *Sigh.
But is it ever enough?
Whenever I read books like that, I can't help thinking about my future children. What can I do, as a mother, to protect them from bullying? How can I make sure that they aren't bullied and that they also aren't the bullies?
The kid in the story was bullied - the teachers and eventually even his mother tried to "toughen" him up and told him to stand up for himself. The teachers thought that if they stepped in, it'd make the bullying worse. And it probably would; but what if the kid isn't able to stand up for him/herself?
I mean, what would you do if your child was being bullied?
I also wonder what makes that difference between one child who's being bullied choosing to commit suicide while another one will turn into a high school or college shooter. Is it their upbringing? Access to weapons? Videogames? Music they're listening to?
I just don't know. But we should know - or at least try to figure it out. And yes, not an easy task - especially considering that many shooters decide to kill themselves in the end - but those who didn't or those we were able to reach out before they hit their breaking point, they need to be our teachers. They have to be the ones we ask; not to judge them but to find out the truth, to find out what led them to doing what they did.
The thing that always shocks me the most when reading Nineteen Minutes is that nobody is really trying to figure out the truth. In the trial, the prosecution is just trying to prove that this kid was a murderer, a monster. The defense is trying to use anything they can find to argue that he was provoced, to create sympathy for him. But the defense lawyer never once asks the kid why he did it; because if his client told him that he planned the shooting, the defense lawyer couldn't lie in court and try to get him off. And yes, I get that's how our system works. But seriously??? If during the trial nobody is trying to figure out what REALLY happen, then who is? And if we don't figure out the truth, then what can we learn from this tragedy?
I love that book - even though it completely messes with my head whenever I read it. But I think the questions this book is asking are the questions we need to ask ourselves - HOW DID HE GET TO THERE? How does a person get to the point where they turn into a shooter?
At my last institution, we had to go through active shooter training. We learned that, if there is an active shooter, you should first see if there's a possibility to get away and if so, you should run and get as far away as possible; if that isn't an option, you should try to barricade yourself in. We learned that if you're hiding in a classroom, you shouldn't all huddle together because you make a much easier target; instead you should try to spread out so if the shooter comes to your room, he won't be able to get you all at once. And they told us that if there's no way to get away or barricade yourself in somewhere, you should try to come up with a plan to take out the shooter - because at this point, it's either you or him.
Sadly enough training like that are necessary - and they're helpful. But I wish we spent at least as much if not more time talking about how we can try to keep our students from getting to the point where they become an active shooter; how we can identify students who may be at risk. I know that's not an easy task but Student Affairs shouldn't be about "being easy." And yes, I don't think we'll ever be able to prevent all of these incidents - but we could at least give it a try.
A lot of schools now have teams of administrators that identify high-risk students and then try to keep up on how they are doing and what we are doing to support them. That's a great start - but what are we doing on the Hall Director and RA level to stop these incidents from happening?
Just this semester, we've had two incidents of homophobic graffiti in my residence hall. I've had roommate conflicts where I was concerned that bullying was involved. I hear students talking about others, judging others.
And what have we done? We've had an anti-bullying program where we asked students to sign an anti-bullying pledge; we later posted those pledges on a bulletin board. I've tried to encourage my staff to have more one-on-one conversations with their residents, to build relationships with every single one of them - some of them have embraced that idea, others still prefer to "send out an e-mail" when I ask them to get a message to residents instead of going out and talking to them one-on-one. *Sigh.
But is it ever enough?
Whenever I read books like that, I can't help thinking about my future children. What can I do, as a mother, to protect them from bullying? How can I make sure that they aren't bullied and that they also aren't the bullies?
The kid in the story was bullied - the teachers and eventually even his mother tried to "toughen" him up and told him to stand up for himself. The teachers thought that if they stepped in, it'd make the bullying worse. And it probably would; but what if the kid isn't able to stand up for him/herself?
I mean, what would you do if your child was being bullied?
I also wonder what makes that difference between one child who's being bullied choosing to commit suicide while another one will turn into a high school or college shooter. Is it their upbringing? Access to weapons? Videogames? Music they're listening to?
I just don't know. But we should know - or at least try to figure it out. And yes, not an easy task - especially considering that many shooters decide to kill themselves in the end - but those who didn't or those we were able to reach out before they hit their breaking point, they need to be our teachers. They have to be the ones we ask; not to judge them but to find out the truth, to find out what led them to doing what they did.
The thing that always shocks me the most when reading Nineteen Minutes is that nobody is really trying to figure out the truth. In the trial, the prosecution is just trying to prove that this kid was a murderer, a monster. The defense is trying to use anything they can find to argue that he was provoced, to create sympathy for him. But the defense lawyer never once asks the kid why he did it; because if his client told him that he planned the shooting, the defense lawyer couldn't lie in court and try to get him off. And yes, I get that's how our system works. But seriously??? If during the trial nobody is trying to figure out what REALLY happen, then who is? And if we don't figure out the truth, then what can we learn from this tragedy?
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Fall Break
It's Fall Break. I've been working but it's been relatively relaxed - and let me tell you, that's been FANTASTIC. It's amazing to actually leave your office around 5 (it was a little after 5 each day, but still close enough). There's so much time left in the day. Monday I went and saw Harry Potter; yesterday I went shopping. Such a change from coming home around 10 pm and being too tired to do anything else!
I did have a LONG to do list and didn't make it through half of it. That means I'll probably be doing some work tomorrow and Friday or possibly go into the office on Sunday; but you know, that always happens. I'm apparently incapable of making to do lists that are actually realistic. Haha. I just thought, three days in the office without meetings with students - I should be able to do EVERYTHING, right? Yeah, not so much. But I did make some good headway on my weekend program and started writing a few of those reports that need to be done by the end of the semester.
I am duty again Thursday through Monday; I was on duty last weekend as well. At least those were the "quiet" weekends of the semester - or so I thought. No, honestly, it wasn't too bad. But we did have a power outage one day and people were completely overreacting. Sometimes I really struggle with understanding where our students and families come from. I mean, when the power goes out, you just wait - what else is there to do? Staff does extra rounds, the police or fire department may do a fire watch. But that's it. I don't work for the power company; I can't fix the power outage faster. I also don't have the power to relocate that many students - that power outage was affecting three of our residential areas. And I loved the comments that if they lived off-campus, there was more that could be done. Yeah right! As if a landlord is going to answer a phone call late at night, or fix a power line, or pay for an expensive hotel for them to stay in! Ha, I remember when we had a power outage at one of my previous institutions; it affected the town as well. On campus, we had the back-up generations running after one night - then they went off again for another night, but then we were back in business. Students living off campus didn't have power for a week. They didn't have hot water. We arranged for them to be able to shower on campus at the Rec. And what did their landlords do? Nothing; they waited because that's the only thing we all can do.
I guess I just don't know how we can get across to students that their expectations are unrealistic. Yes, this is a University campus and we have staff here, so we can help them out a little more; but we can't do and fix everything. I tried to challenge some of the things the students were saying to me, but I don't think I really got through to them. Maybe it'll just take that rough awakening, when they live off campus and something similar happens and there is NOBODY they can even call. Sometimes learning just takes some time, I guess.
I did have a LONG to do list and didn't make it through half of it. That means I'll probably be doing some work tomorrow and Friday or possibly go into the office on Sunday; but you know, that always happens. I'm apparently incapable of making to do lists that are actually realistic. Haha. I just thought, three days in the office without meetings with students - I should be able to do EVERYTHING, right? Yeah, not so much. But I did make some good headway on my weekend program and started writing a few of those reports that need to be done by the end of the semester.
I am duty again Thursday through Monday; I was on duty last weekend as well. At least those were the "quiet" weekends of the semester - or so I thought. No, honestly, it wasn't too bad. But we did have a power outage one day and people were completely overreacting. Sometimes I really struggle with understanding where our students and families come from. I mean, when the power goes out, you just wait - what else is there to do? Staff does extra rounds, the police or fire department may do a fire watch. But that's it. I don't work for the power company; I can't fix the power outage faster. I also don't have the power to relocate that many students - that power outage was affecting three of our residential areas. And I loved the comments that if they lived off-campus, there was more that could be done. Yeah right! As if a landlord is going to answer a phone call late at night, or fix a power line, or pay for an expensive hotel for them to stay in! Ha, I remember when we had a power outage at one of my previous institutions; it affected the town as well. On campus, we had the back-up generations running after one night - then they went off again for another night, but then we were back in business. Students living off campus didn't have power for a week. They didn't have hot water. We arranged for them to be able to shower on campus at the Rec. And what did their landlords do? Nothing; they waited because that's the only thing we all can do.
I guess I just don't know how we can get across to students that their expectations are unrealistic. Yes, this is a University campus and we have staff here, so we can help them out a little more; but we can't do and fix everything. I tried to challenge some of the things the students were saying to me, but I don't think I really got through to them. Maybe it'll just take that rough awakening, when they live off campus and something similar happens and there is NOBODY they can even call. Sometimes learning just takes some time, I guess.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
One more week...
One more week until Fall Break (we get a full week off for Thanksgiving). I can't wait. I'll be working for most - no, really all of Fall Break. I'm on duty the weekend when Fall Break starts; then I'll be in the office Monday-Wednesday; and then I'm on duty again Thursday through Sunday. The building stays open, but we anticipate having very few students there; meaning that even though I'm working, it should be a lot more laid back and relaxed. Most of all, I won't have any evening meetings or classes, so when I get home at 5 pm, I'm HOME for good. Yay!!!!
I'm so beyond ready for a break. The past few weeks have been tough. I've just been feeling really drained and I've had a hard time motivating myself. I've still gone to work, put in my usual 9 am until 10 pm days, but I wasn't there whole-heartedly. I've taken more time to myself than usual. Last weekend I went to visit a friend; this weekend I visited another friend and went to a concert. But instead of giving me more energy, I feel drained when I get back and overwhelmed with the amount of work I have to do. I'm hoping Fall Break will give me the time to catch up on work, maybe even get a little ahead. And I hope that'll help with my overall level of motivation.
Right now, it's 9 pm on a Sunday night and I should be grading some papers as I'm meeting with some students from my first-year experience class tomorrow and should be able to tell them their grade. I'm not even extremely tired; I just don't "feel" like grading. Maybe I'll try to take a nap and then get motivated again later on. Wish me luck.
I'm so beyond ready for a break. The past few weeks have been tough. I've just been feeling really drained and I've had a hard time motivating myself. I've still gone to work, put in my usual 9 am until 10 pm days, but I wasn't there whole-heartedly. I've taken more time to myself than usual. Last weekend I went to visit a friend; this weekend I visited another friend and went to a concert. But instead of giving me more energy, I feel drained when I get back and overwhelmed with the amount of work I have to do. I'm hoping Fall Break will give me the time to catch up on work, maybe even get a little ahead. And I hope that'll help with my overall level of motivation.
Right now, it's 9 pm on a Sunday night and I should be grading some papers as I'm meeting with some students from my first-year experience class tomorrow and should be able to tell them their grade. I'm not even extremely tired; I just don't "feel" like grading. Maybe I'll try to take a nap and then get motivated again later on. Wish me luck.
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